Tracey's Interview

Hey friends, I've got another interview for you, but this one's a little different than the previous ones! Through the eyes of my sister-in-law, Tracey, we are going to explore the world of motherhood! I hope you appreciate her insight as much as I did. And I hope it makes you feel like hugging your mom, because that's how I felt. (It also made me feel like hugging my adorable nephew.)

Tell me a little bit about yourself and your family.
I am a stay-at-home mom.  I was a former elementary school teacher.  I love to cook, bake, and entertain guests in our home.  I enjoy sewing and crafting and have recently started to find a very fun hobby in quilting.  My husband Micah is an engineer who works very hard so that I am able to stay home with Isaac.  He loves music, reading, and learning new things.  He is the most wonderful daddy.  It is a true joy to watch him play with and care for Isaac.  Isaac is 9 months old.  He enjoys playing with his toys especially knocking down towers that are built for him.  He loves to smile at people in the grocery store and squeal and giggle with delight when you tickle him.  His favorite foods are crackers, apple sauce, and anything that Daddy is eating.

What were some unexpected challenges that you faced in pregnancy or parenting?
In pregnancy, there weren’t too many surprises. I was surprised at how courteous people are to pregnant women. That was a pleasant, hope-in-humanity surprise. The first unexpected challenge of parenting was when we first had Isaac home, and he was fussy and crying and we just didn’t know how to calm him down. We realized “He is in our care and we need to figure out what’s wrong.” And sometimes you just don’t know how. Another example is when we’re driving and he’s crying because he wants to get out of the carseat, but I just can’t take him out because it’s not safe. I want to make it all better, but I can’t.

Another challenge is overcoming the mundaneness that sometimes happens. At the end of the day we talk about our days, and I don’t have anything remotely important that happened. “Well, Isaac ate pears, and played with his ball.” I love being a stay at home mom, but that’s one of the challenges. I  have to be ok with some of my days being boring.

What are some of the joys you’ve experienced?
Isaac and I were in the car during the summer, and I rolled down the window, and he felt the breeze, and his eyes got big and he just loved it. It occurred to me how wonderful it is to be there firsthand to see this little person experience things for the first time. It’s a renewed sense of wonder. Another joy, as a little girl, whenever I played house, I had a hundred babies. I loved taking care of babies. Another joy is actually getting to do that for real. Another joy of being a mom is the interaction with strangers that are provided by my little guy. A lot more people approach you when you have a baby, and you can interact with people that you never would have interacted with before. Another little joy is your baby saying “mama” or smiling when you walk into the room or nuzzling you when you hug him.

Is there anything you wish you had known before having a baby?
I wish I would have known to trust my instincts a little bit more, versus going and theories and books. I don’t think those are bad, but I wish I had knows to trust my maternal instinct more.

What hopes do you have for Isaac when he gets older?
The things are pray for are that he loves Jesus, that he knows how much God loves him, how much we love him. I hope that he loves people. I want my children to love people, but there’s something special about his interactions with people. I think he’s going to love people in a big way, so I definitely pray for that. There are a few things that I picture him doing, like Bible quizzing or swimming, but they’re not necessarily things to hope for, because he might not even like them.

What’s the best way to help or encourage a new mom?
They need a lot more sleep than they’re getting. Go to their house and watch their kid while they nap, even if it’s just 20 minutes. Just let them have a nap. Also, a lot of new moms feel pressure to do things the right way from parenting magazines, experts, and so on. Just let them know they’re doing a good job. It’s just sweet for a new mom to hear “You’re being a good mom, you’re doing what you think is best.” Meals are always nice, too. One of the big ways, I’ve been encouraged is my mommy group. One way to get encouraged is to get plugged in with a group of other moms.

Also, one of the things was discouraging was when people asked “How are they sleeping? How are they eating?” Those are two questions that are usually not going well. Asking those questions are setting up the parents to talk about things that aren’t the best. One way to encourage moms are to ask questions that showcase good things about the baby. For example, “What are some fun things that your baby is doing now?”

Has your social life changed since having a baby?
My answer might change on different days. Some days I feel like I’m in college without the classes, just hanging out with my friends, with play dates and mommy group times. These are just good friends going through the same thing, and spending time together. While my social life has changed, it hasn’t gotten worse. I haven’t said goodbye to adult interaction. Because I’m not tied to a work schedule, I have more time to meet new people and spend time with people I know. But you have to be intentional about it. I made a commitment to myself early on that I have get out every day for some sort of social interaction. If I hadn’t done that, my answer to this question would be a lot more negative.

Since this blog is about being courageous in every day life, can you talk about an experience in which you had to be courageous?
Having the courage to have a child - knowing that you’re responsible for a life and their well-being - that’s a pretty weighty thing. By choosing to have a child, you’re responsible. I’ve had to ask God for courage as a stay at home mom in accepting my new role. Going from being a teacher, loving being a teacher, knowing my role as a teacher - to doing something I’ve never done before. I’m still asking God for the courage to figure out my identity and role as a mom.

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