Our Changing Family

Hello family and friends! We are writing this blog to share some exciting news with you: we’re going to be foster parents! We are very excited and nervous about where God is leading us on this journey. You might have some questions about this, so we’re going to include some general information about foster care, some of our personal thoughts and feelings about this journey, and what you can do to help.

So let’s get down to the nitty-gritty stuff:

• In Pennsylvania, there are about 13,000-15,000 children currently in foster care in PA. In the United States as whole, there are about 400,000-500,000 children in care on any given day.
• Children come into care for any number of reasons, such as abuse or neglect, and thus have experienced trauma that can affect their behavior or development. However, children do not come into care simply for being poor.
• At this time, we are opening our home to children under the age of one.
• As with any child, we are not guaranteed a specific amount of time together. The ultimate goal of foster care is provide a safe, nurturing home for a child while his or her parent works toward reunification. We support this goal because we want to see parents succeed, and families stay together.
• If reunification is unable to take place, and the child in our home becomes eligible for adoption, we are definitely open to adopting that child.
• Our children’s stories are theirs to share on their own terms. For their privacy and safety, we will not be sharing their names or any identifying photos or information on social media.
• We have finished our classes and home study, and will likely be approved by the end of November or beginning of December. A child could be placed with us any time after that. It could be the next day, or it could be in several months.

Foster care is hard. There’s no getting around that. But God calls us to do hard things, and we choose to do hard things because these kids never got the choice not to do them. We have taken the classes, read the books and the blogs, and we know that nothing can truly prepare us for the uncertainty and grief we will face. And that’s okay. We are willing to risk the hurt in order to give a child what he or she needs during a time of crisis. They are worth it. We are signing up for this willingly, but we recognize that you, our family and friends, might not be. The gravity of this is not lost on us, and we are humbled by and grateful for your grace and understanding.

We also know that there won’t only be grief and pain. There is also joy and healing in foster care. We are excited to have more babies in our home! We are glad to be able to provide them a safe, nurturing environment, and to give birth families the time that they need to focus on their own needs.

While we are excited for this new chapter in our lives, we also recognize that this is not something we can do alone. Personally, I have a very hard time asking for help, but I know will we need it. So, here are some ways that you can help us on our foster care journey.

• Pray for us! As you already know, foster care is challenging. We will likely be caring for infants with significant needs. We will face uncertainty over and over again, and go through many transitions and changes. Pray especially for Pumpkin as she processes these changes and learns to share our attention.
• Consider helping with material needs. While we already have many baby items in our home, there are a few more that would be helpful for having two children. And of course, it’s hard to know exactly what we will need until a child is placed with us, so feel free to check in when that happens. Also keep us in mind when cleaning out your old baby gear.
• Be mindful of what you say about our foster children, especially when they can hear you. It’s great to ask questions, as long as they are respectful. But please avoid saying things like “They’re so lucky to have you,” or “Oh, that poor child!” Any parent knows that children hear more than we think, and can internalize negative comments, however well-intentioned they may seem.
• Treat our foster children like they are part of our family. For a time, they really are! Include them in family activities and traditions, and consider your gift-giving habits around holidays.
• Give us encouragement and a listening ear! We will have tough times. A word of encouragement here and there will definitely be welcome, especially when we have to say goodbye to a child
• Educate yourself about foster care, and the issues that children in foster care face. As always, if you have questions or are unsure about something, don’t hesitate to ask us!

As always, thank you for reading, and thank you for joining us on this journey.