Weekend Revelations
This weekend, my husband and I went away to the White Mountains of New Hampshire to celebrate our second wedding anniversary. The inn we stayed at had no cell phone service, and we did not bring a computer to access the wi-fi. We planned a few activities to do outdoors, but for the most part, we just wanted to relax and enjoy each other’s company. It was meant to be a weekend to get away from the stresses of daily life and enjoy our time together. I wasn’t expecting to learn anything. But I did. A weekend with no technology and little to do was more telling than I expected. Here are a few things that we learned.
1. We forgot how to talk to each other.
Gone are the days when we could sit for hours and simply talk to each other. While sitting at a nearly two-and-a-half hour five-course dinner, we realized that all we ever talk about is what we did that day, and what we need to do next. Since everything we had done that day was done together, we had no need to talk about what we did that day. And since we had very little planned, we had no need to talk about what we needed to do next. Thus, we sat in silence for longer than I’d like to admit. Then, of course, we started talking about how we needed to re-learn how to have a conversation with each other. It got a little better after that, but not without considerable effort. We’ve gotten so caught up in the hustle and bustle of our busy lives that we’ve forgotten how to talk.
2. We spend way too much time with technology.
The more time I spend away from technology, the more I realize this truth. It’s this same realization that led me to start my No TV Challenge. And you know what? I haven’t missed it (except maybe for Doctor Who). We both realized how much differently we relate to each other when we aren’t distracted by emails, text messages, Facebook, Pinterest, and so on. I’ll be honest: there were times on this trip that I missed my computer, but when put in proper perspective, it was soon forgotten. We both ended the weekend saying, “We need to have more technology-free days.”
So, I hope that moving forward, we can put into practice the things that we learned this weekend. I’ll put this question out to other married couples: how do you keep communication alive in your marriage?
1. We forgot how to talk to each other.
Gone are the days when we could sit for hours and simply talk to each other. While sitting at a nearly two-and-a-half hour five-course dinner, we realized that all we ever talk about is what we did that day, and what we need to do next. Since everything we had done that day was done together, we had no need to talk about what we did that day. And since we had very little planned, we had no need to talk about what we needed to do next. Thus, we sat in silence for longer than I’d like to admit. Then, of course, we started talking about how we needed to re-learn how to have a conversation with each other. It got a little better after that, but not without considerable effort. We’ve gotten so caught up in the hustle and bustle of our busy lives that we’ve forgotten how to talk.
2. We spend way too much time with technology.
The more time I spend away from technology, the more I realize this truth. It’s this same realization that led me to start my No TV Challenge. And you know what? I haven’t missed it (except maybe for Doctor Who). We both realized how much differently we relate to each other when we aren’t distracted by emails, text messages, Facebook, Pinterest, and so on. I’ll be honest: there were times on this trip that I missed my computer, but when put in proper perspective, it was soon forgotten. We both ended the weekend saying, “We need to have more technology-free days.”
So, I hope that moving forward, we can put into practice the things that we learned this weekend. I’ll put this question out to other married couples: how do you keep communication alive in your marriage?
Talking is over rated! Sometimes just sitting quiet with one another is a good thing, words aren't necessary. When you are comfortable with one another words aren't always needed. Sometimes Grandpa and I go for a ride, or are traveling to NJ and just enjoy the music and the silence. It is a good thing!
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