When Loved Ones Leave the Country

This weekend, Judah's parents are moving. To Thailand. This is not the first time this has happened to us though. It's not the first time we've hugged someone goodbye, knowing they were going to the other side of the world, knowing we wouldn't see them again for another year. We have friends and family all over the world. Some are teachers, some are nurses, some are missionaries. Some will be gone for just a year; others will be gone indefinitely.  We're practically experts at saying goodbye. If that's even possible…

Here are some thoughts on what to do when a loved one decides to leave the country.

1. Support them.

Moving to a different country is not easy, and it's not a decision people make lightly. If someone you know has made this decision, they've most likely thought long and hard about it. Even if they are excited about going, it is probably still difficult for them to leave you. Don't make it harder by giving them a hard time about it. Be honest and let them know your concerns, but don't try to hold them back. Get excited with them for this new adventure!

2. Learn about the country they are moving to.

This will help you get excited for the person who is moving. Learn about where they're going, what they will be doing, what the culture and the food is like. Read books, watch movies, follow the news, eat that type of cuisine. The more you learn about the world, the more well-rounded you become, and you will be better able to relate to your friend or family member.

3. Recognize that this is their new home.

It’s not always the best idea to ask, “So, when are you coming home?” In your friend’s mind, this is their new home. It’s not just a vacation. They are starting a new, ordinary life there and will be doing ordinary, mundane things like working, food shopping, taking out the trash, and getting Starbucks. They will most likely be completely immersing themselves in the local culture, and may even get more accustomed to living there than in their “home” country. A good alternative is, “How long do you plan to live there?”

4. Establish lines of communication.

Before your loved one leaves, decide how you will keep in contact with them. Do they have a blog or newsletter? Read it! Are they on Instagram or Twitter? Follow them! Exchange email addresses if you haven't already. Familiarize yourself with video calling apps such as Skype or Google Hangouts. Decide on these things before the person leaves. Also be sure to ask if there are any sensitive communication guidelines you need to be aware of, depending on what country they are moving to.

5. Pray for them.

As I mentioned in my first point,expat living can be very challenging. Aside from living apart from potentially everyone they know, your friend or family member will have to get used to an entirely different way of life, with or without support from others. Ask them specifically how you can pray for them, and let them know that you are thinking of them. Any little bit of encouragement helps!